Do I Pursue the RIGHT Due Process?

A Sermon By Jim Hammond from (1 Corinthians 6:1-11)

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words.

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". But at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).

But at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden, the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily, "My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"

The princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said just two words: "Pardon me?"[i]

Some of you are now wondering if that’s the same spell that has been put on your husband. Now if you are wondering this, I want you to remember an important lesson: Listen very carefully because in just a couple of years he might say something REALLY important.

Poor communication is one of the top reasons for interpersonal problems. Love can be one of those difficult things to communicate, but it is not the only difficult thing. I think we all universally agree confrontation is very difficult, especially confronting in love. I don’t know anyone that likes confrontation. Yet sometimes confrontation is the proof that we care. Do you care enough to confront? Today we are looking at many forms of interpersonal problems that could have been resolved if the right due process had been applied. Let’s just begin with three examples of interpersonal problems that became tangled messes.

Interpersonal Problem # 1: In a counseling session with a Pastor, Bob says, “My wife Bernadette has been living with another man. She has been living with him now for a couple of years. I have done everything I can do to get her to return; there’s nothing left for me to do, but to get a divorce. What do you think?”

If you were the Pastor what would you say?

Interpersonal Problem # 2: One family in the church stopped coming to church. When someone went to visit them, it turned out that the reason they stopped coming is that they lost respect for an adult Sunday School teacher whom they had formerly admired. They had loaned him some money when he told them about a personal need. It had been 2 years and they still had not been paid back. They stopped coming when the teacher bought a new car and still had not paid them back the money they had loaned.

What do you say to the couple? What should be done?

Interpersonal Problem # 3: At a men’s meeting, when there was a time to break into small groups a friend (we’ll call him George) mentions a prayer request to you in confidence, “Do you remember the house I sold to Fred?”

“Yes, I was so glad to see he was finally able to get into a house of his own with his family.”

“Well, I was also. That’s why as a favor to him, I carried the loan.”

“Oh no, don’t tell me he hasn’t been paying you.”

“You got it. At first, he was just late with the payments. But now it has been three months since I’ve seen a check. At first I tried to be gracious, but now I think I’m going to go seek some legal counsel. I have the legal means to have him ejected so I can get some other renters in there, or so that I can sell it. I’m losing money I can’t afford to lose. I can’t keep making two house payments.”

What would you do?

Focus: There is a biblical method for dealing with problems—all problems—between professed Christians.

I. The Sue Process or Christ’s Due Process

When you hear the phrase Due Process of Law we think of how our legal system works. We think of the administering of law through courts of justice in accordance with established and sanctioned legal principles and procedures. We are glad we can count on the Due Process of the Law. Because of the Due Process of the Law there are safeguards for the protection of individual rights.

In Corinth, there was also a justice system. In fact the inhabitants were used to using the due process of the law in the Greek world to seek out the justice that had been breached. Paul, however, became extremely agitated when he discovered that the secular legal system was used to right some wrongs rather than reconciling the problems through another well established process.

1 Corinthians 6:1-8 (NIV) ¹If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? ²Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? ³Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! ⁴Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church! ⁵I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? ⁶But instead, one brother goes to law against another—and this in front of unbelievers!

⁷The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? ⁸Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.

Bring Your Disputes Before Christ’s Due Process

In this context we see him say the disputed matters should have been brought before the church and some appointed judges within the church, not to the secular courts. He considered this shameful and scandalous. Paul’s assumption is that the wisdom available to us will be much more effective in bringing about resolution than through the secular court system. Notice verse 7, The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged?

Christians suing Christians, this was a shame. Paul calls it being defeated even before the outcome in court. He argues, “Why not rather be wronged?” It would be better to simply turn the other cheek. Let the injustice go. That would be better than dragging Christ’s name through such scandal. However, the good news is that we don’t have to settle for no recourse but aim for true reconciliation through Christ’s due process.

A. Step One: Initiate Reconciliation Privately

The first step is NOT to talk about the problem with others and complain about what has happened. That is usually what people do when they are offended. They talk about the offender and their frustration to other people but not the person they have the problem with. This can make the problem bigger rather than smaller. The first step is to seek out reconciliation with the party involved, and do it privately.

The general principle is to attempt to bring the problem to a resolution as early as possible and at the smallest level possible. If the offense is just between two people, hopefully it can be solved between just two people.

In our Nomination Orientation for Church leaders, part of the training includes a word picture. Church leaders carry two buckets, One in each hand. In one hand they carry a bucket of water, in the other hand a bucket of gasoline. There will always be little fires that come up in churches. With each fire the church leader has to decide which bucket he will pour over that fire. It is his job to use the bucket of water as early as possible, and not pour gasoline on the fire, empowering a faction, or problem. Everyone needs to think about those two buckets with every interpersonal problem. What will you do?

1. Who is responsible for the first move, the offended or the offender?

Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV) ²³“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Here the responsibility to make the first move toward reconciliation is on the shoulder of the offender.

Matthew 18:15-17 (NIV) ¹⁵“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. ¹⁶But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ ¹⁷If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Here the responsibility to make the first move toward reconciliation is on the shoulder of the one who is offended.

Answer: Both--The First move is always your responsibility (as it is the other party’s)

In an ideal world, you would be meeting each other as you are both making the first move. There is also an urgency in Jesus words “first go” (Matthew 5:24). Reconciliation is so important that Jesus would have you go get reconciled before you go to worship! Did you catch that? Reconciliation is more important than going to worship! (Matthew 5:24). Again the principle is to seek reconciliation as early as possible, and before the fewest number of people necessary to bring that reconciliation about.

But what if the other party refuses to be reconciled in the private setting? Christ anticipated this question. If this should happen, even after repeated efforts, go to step two.

B. Step Two: Take One or Two Others

These others act as mediators or arbitrators in the process of hearing both sides of the story and giving counsel. They become involved in trying to bring the two parties together once again. They may assist them in reaching a solution to the problems that created the breach in relationship. If all attempts at reconciliation are refused, these helpers become reluctant witnesses, and the whole matter is brought to step 3.

C. Step Three: Take the Matter to the Church

It was this third step that Paul addresses in 1 Corinthians 5 with the man who was in an incestuous relationship with his step mother and proud of it. It was also this third step Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 6:1-8. The church should have been brought into the situation rather than the courts, and the legal system.

This is not to say the law should never be involved. In our society we would be negligent and liable, if child abuse was discovered and never reported. When it would be damaging to the church’s witness not to involve the legal system and its authorities, the law should also be brought into the situation. I can think of a few examples. One example might be if it was discovered that an adult was molesting children. This would be reported. It would be dealt with on multiple levels. It is not that Paul is forbidding involving the secular system. Paul himself appealed to the legal system, calling for justice, and this gave him the ability to promote the gospel further, even to Rome. Paul was upset that the secular system was resorted to for things that would be dealt with more appropriately and effectively through the system Christ described.

After two or three have confronted, and the offender still refuses reconciliation, the witnesses and the party seeking reconciliation bring the whole matter officially to the leaders of the church.

Paul gives us some reasons why we should do this. He gives us his reasoning in the form of questions. These are things he expected the Corinthians to know. But apparently they either forgot or the knowing didn’t translate into changing the way they did things.

Here are the 5 sets of Questions he uses:

1. Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? (v. 2)

And who are the saints? The very next phrase explains that the saints are these very Corinthians!

2. And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? (v. 2)

We better practice the right due process on trivial cases. It is never easy to walk through even the correct steps of loving confrontation.

3. Do you not know that we will judge angels? (v. 3)

I certainly would not have known this if we didn’t have this chapter in scripture. This is the only place in scripture that I know of that tells us about this. We know from Jude and 2 Peter that the fallen angels will be judged by God. The word here used for judge, is krino, and it can also mean to rule or govern. Paul may mean that we will participate in the condemnation of the fallen angels. Paul may mean that we will participate in the governing or ruling of the good angels. Paul might mean both of these ideas here. The thrust of what he means is that if we will be responsible for judging, ruling, and exercising this kind of governing in the age to come, surely we can make these petty judgments here and now and spare the church and Christians from the bad name that comes when one brother sues another and before the ungodly to cast judgment on us.

4. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? (v. 5)

He has already given his answer to this question in verse 4, before he raised it in verse 5 “Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church!” (v. 4)

According to Paul, even Christians with very little leadership ability or discernment or wisdom, should know the basics and have the equipment to bring about the desired reconciliation in a far more acceptable manner than the secular courts do. Secular courts may bring about restitution, and they may bring about retribution, but they do not bring about reconciliation. The weakest of Christians are better equipped to help bring about reconciliation between Christians than the court system.

5. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? (v. 7)

Paul wants the church leaders then to get involved to bring about reconciliation. A note here. I believe the general principle is that a problem should be dealt at the smallest level possible to bring about reconciliation. You don’t need to bring it before anyone else if it can be handled on a smaller level, whether one to one, 3 to one, or within the level that it affects. Maybe only a care group needs to become involved to bring about the desired reconciliation. This, too, is bringing the matter to the attention of the church. If it is a very public matter that affects the public, everyone, it would probably need to be dealt with in a public way.

If the elders fail to bring about reconciliation after exhaustive efforts, as a last resort the member is solemnly dismissed from their authority. They are no longer considered members because they are no longer responsive to the leadership of Christ and His Church. The dismissal hopefully is a temporary measure, always hoping that this will bring about repentance and a return to the church. If the supposed “believer” refuses to hear the church, he is to be treated as an outsider. Even then, members are to pray for that one and attempt to restore that one to fellowship as they would any lost person.

The whole process must be handled in love with reconciliation as the goal of the process.

Often people have had a negative experience with the abuse of such a process. There have been abuses of authority. But just because we have seen abuses doesn’t mean the whole process should be abandoned. For example: just because there is child abuse today, we don’t abandon the process of disciplining our children. Abuses need to be avoided, yes, but the discipline needs to be applied in love for the good of the person, and the safeguarding of the church.

Now let’s look back at the three cases we began with and see how matters might have been approached differently.

Interpersonal Problem # 1: In a counseling session with a Pastor, the husband says, “My wife Bernadette has been living with another man. She has been living with him now for a couple of years. I have done everything I can do to get her to return; there’s nothing left for me to do, but to get a divorce. What do you think?”

If you were the Pastor what would you say? The first question might be, “So you have gone to her privately to lovingly confront her, then, with a view to reconciliation?”

“I sure have, many times.” the husband replies. “In spite of what she has done, if she gave me any indication she was repentant, I would forgive her. I still love her.”

“After you went to her and that didn’t work did you take one or two others from the church with you to talk to her?”

“No, I haven’t done that.” says the husband.

“You said you did everything, yet you haven’t even taken the second step in the process of reconciliation. You are about to jump to the last step before you’ve given it half a chance. You should have done this years ago. Let’s take someone else with us, perhaps she will still listen when they talk to her about her own condition before God. Surely God will bless you for attempting to follow his plan for reconciliation. Who knows what will happen. Let’s pray before we begin.”

What about Interpersonal Problem # 2: The one with the family who stopped coming to church because the Sunday School teacher owed them money and was negligent to repay it.

What do you say to the couple? What should be done? The same thing. After talking it out privately, take one or two. Usually the counsel of one or two is all that is needed to put the appropriate loving pressure to the problem. It could go a number of different directions. It might mean forgiving the debt entirely. It might mean an apology, and the asking of forgiveness. It might mean a hard hearted refusal, and an official dismissal from the leadership responsibilities once it goes officially before the church. Whatever the case, this matter probably does not need to go further than the church. The goal is always to seek solution at the smallest possible level.

What about Interpersonal Problem # 3: George was not being paid back on the loan he graciously held to help Fred get into a house, what would you do? In this particular case, George could have taken legal action. He had signed legal documents. He could have put out his brother Fred for not paying the note. He could have repossessed the house. But something about the situation, and about what Paul said here stopped him from doing this.

1 Corinthians 6:7-8 (NIV) ⁷The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? ⁸Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.

This particular matter never made it even to the two or three witnesses stage. George went privately to Fred and talked over the situation. They talked about the financial problem and the financial hole Fred was in. The hole was so deep that Fred was despondent. There seemed to be no way out but bankruptcy. George did something very unusual in this world. He did something Christ would probably do in this given situation.

He said, “I think I know of a way I can help you out of this mess. As I see it, even if I forgave you those three months you owe, you still wouldn’t be able to pay your mortgage. There’s only one way that I think I could help you stay out of bankruptcy. How about if I buy the house back from you? I’ll pay fair market value for it, there should be enough equity in it now for you to make a dent on your other bills and get into a smaller place with a rent you can afford. What do you think of that idea?”

George took Paul’s words to heart. He and Fred found a way to honor God. God found a way to bless George. George rented his house for a while then sold it later. George came out ahead in more ways than one. He made money and maintained a lifelong friendship with his brother, Fred.

What about you? Have you been experiencing interpersonal problems? Have you attempted the RIGHT due process. Have you tried communicating in love? Have you tried caring enough to confront? Jesus found us while we were still sinners. He went out of his way to bring us back into fellowship with God. He has called us to do the same.

Do you know someone who is out of fellowship with God? Do you know someone who is stuck in sin? What have you done about it? Have you prayed for them, or have you gossiped about them. Maybe you are the one that needs to initiate reconciliation.

Do you know someone you have wronged? Have you asked for forgiveness? Have you made restitution? Have you tried to make it right?

We need to do everything in our power to pursue the Right due process, the process of reconciliation, as outlined by Jesus, taught by Paul, and practiced by obedient believers and churches who are concerned about the reputation of Christ, His Church, and Holiness.

[i] Crosswalk.com laughlist