LAUGH 'N LEARN

An Encouragement Ministry of Verde Valley Christian Church Of Cottonwood Arizona
http://vvchristianchurch.net

Issue # 375 May 23,  2010

LAUGH

LEARN

Jim's Manuscript

May 23, 2010

"Good Grief!"

2 Corinthians "True Comfort" Series

Text:  Chapter 7

Worldly Grief Hides The Smoldering Disobedience

In his book Why Prayers Are Unanswered, John Lavender retells a story about Norman Vincent Peale.

When Peale was a boy, he found a big, black cigar, slipped into an alley, and lit up. It didn't taste good, but it made him feel very grown up ... until he saw his father coming. Quickly he put the cigar behind his back and tried to be casual.

Desperate to divert his father's attention, Norman pointed to a billboard advertising the circus. "Can I go, Dad? Please, let's go when it comes to town." His father's reply taught Norman a lesson he never forgot. "Son," he answered quietly but firmly, "never make a petition while at the same time trying to hide a smoldering disobedience."

Kirk Russel, DeForest, Wisconsin. Leadership, Vol. 4, no. 4.

Pastors need to be like a good father.  Pastors are not called to the business of making everyone feel good.  It is the Pastor's job to comfort the afflicted, yes, but also to afflict the comfortable. 

Focus:  Good grief brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret.

Modern fascination with self-esteem and addiction to self-affirmation has nearly removed repentance from our vocabulary.  People have redefined Jesus as someone who tolerates anything, and confronts nobody. 

Compare this with the New Testament

Matthew begins with John the Baptist's ministry and this message: "Repent, for the Kingdom of heave is at hand."  (Matthew 3:2)

If we keep reading, we soon discover Jesus gave the same message.  Jesus began his ministry with these words:

Matthew 4:17 (ESV) From that time Jesus began to preach, saying,  "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."

Paul was doing both of these jobs with the Corinthian congregation.  Paul had to write a painful letter to the Corinthians.  He wrote a very strong letter calling for repentance.  It was not easy for him to write it.  He sent it with Titus.  We don't have this letter.  We have only references to it.  Paul made mention of in chapter 2, and now returns to this "lost letter" and its effects in chapter 7.   In chapter 7, we learn more about Paul's emotional struggle writing that letter.  After he wrote it, he regretted writing it, and he fretted and worried for several months before hearing the results.  He was worried that the hard words of confrontation would not have the effect he hoped they would have.  He new it was a very real possibility that they would react negatively.  He was worried that he had driven them further away.  Yet, what he wrote was the truth in love, and the corrective action was one that needed to be taken.  He could not ignore what was going on. He loved the church too much for that.  So, he waited, and waited, and worried. 

Imagine waiting in the days where there is no long distance communication available.  I find it difficult to wait for very long if I call my wife's cell phone and for whatever reason she missed the call.  I wonder sometimes what happened.  And that is just when I wait for less than an hour.  Imagine waiting months for any word after writing such a confrontation.  You are already worried about it anyway, but now, it has taken far longer than you thought it should to hear back from the messenger.  Oh the agony of that long wait.  Chapter 7 is written about the relief Paul felt at the good news that Titus brought back.

In his long waiting, he was beginning to regret that he wrote the letter, fearing the worst, that it would drive the Corinthians further away from him, but then he tells us what happened and how he was greatly encouraged when he finally met back up with Titus.  The letter of confrontation worked.  They were grieved, and they repented.  They took action!

2 Corinthians 7:1-16 (NIV) ¹ Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. ² Make room for us in your hearts. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have exploited no one. ³ I do not say this to condemn you; I have said before that you have such a place in our hearts that we would live or die with you. ⁴ I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds. ⁵ For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn--conflicts on the outside, fears within. ⁶ But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, ⁷ and not only by his coming but also by the comfort you had given him. He told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever. ⁸ Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it--I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while-- ⁹ yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. ¹⁰ Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. ¹¹ See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. ¹² So even though I wrote to you, it was not on account of the one who did the wrong or of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. ¹³ By all this we are encouraged. In addition to our own encouragement, we were especially delighted to see how happy Titus was, because his spirit has been refreshed by all of you. ¹⁴ I had boasted to him about you, and you have not embarrassed me. But just as everything we said to you was true, so our boasting about you to Titus has proved to be true as well. ¹⁵ And his affection for you is all the greater when he remembers that you were all obedient, receiving him with fear and trembling. ¹⁶ I am glad I can have complete confidence in you.

I.        Good Grief Leads To Right Action (7:8-10)

⁸ Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it--I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while-- ⁹ yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. ¹⁰ Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

There Is No Motion Without Emotion

Most of the time where change is required, there is no motion taken until there is emotion that finally moves us.  Paul's painful letter was filled with emotion, and it triggered appropriate emotion, and it created appropriate motion towards change. 

When was the last time you made any significant change?  Chances are good it was pain that motivated you to make a change.  If not pain there might have been another emotion that gave you motion toward that first step. 

Yet, Emotion Alone Is Not Enough

But emotion alone is not enough.  There is a contrast here between worldly grief and godly grief.   There is bad grief, and there is good grief, worldly sorrow, and godly sorrow. 

Worldly Sorrow Causes Us To Get Stuck

Worldly Sorrow causes us to get stuck rather than move.  We get stuck in despair, or stuck in bitterness, or even stuck in paralysis. 

¹⁰ Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

Worldly Sorrow Causes Us To Make The Wrong Move

Peter and Judas

Just take two characters as a case in point.  Peter contrasted with Judas.  Both of them betrayed Jesus.  Both felt remorse.  One was filled with Good Grief, and one was filled with Worldly grief.  Judas' worldly grief led to despair and bitterness.  It moved him, but it moved him to take his own life.  Worldly sorrow brings death.  Godly sorrow moves us correctly.

Worldly Grief merely attempts to MANAGE THE DAMAGE.

Worldly Grief is the grief that comes with being caught!  It is not the grief that you did it, but the grief that you got caught doing it.  People know, and there are consequences.

The world's approach to sin is not to repent, but to manage sin.  Are you trying to manage your sin, and manage your guilt, and MANAGE THE DAMAGE, rather than repent?

Repentance is not managing the damage.  That is nothing but damage control.  It confesses only what has been caught, and admits only to what is already known.  Repentance comes from Good Grief, a genuine desire to be rid of the cause of the damage, not the desire to continue in sin, while managing the damage.

Are you merely trying to manage the damage, or are you willing to make the move to snuff out your hidden smoldering disobedience?

II.       Good Grief Leads To Repentance  (7:9-10)

A.      It's More Than Saying I'm Sorry (7:11)

Some people have the wrong idea about repentance.  Repentance is more than saying I'm sorry.  Or saying something lame like "IF I did anything wrong, please forgive me."  When someone says something like this, the wrongful behavior has not been acknowledged. The person merely wants off someone else's hook and expects the person to sweep the deal under the rug, and never bring it up again.  Relationships are not reconciled when this happens.  The smoldering disobedience has not been snuffed out.  The person is only trying to manage the damage.  And they aren't really managing it properly.

Genuine Repentance is more than mere words expressing regret.   One simple definition of repentance is a complete change of direction, making a U-Turn from sin, back to God.  Repentance means to change something, not merely to feel sorry about something.  That is why it is difficult.  And it is often a process, rather than one instantaneous decision in a moment. 

1.       Repentance Means Change

¹¹ See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.

Repentance means A Change Of Mind, Followed By A Change of Behavior

2.       Repentance Confronts Deceptions and Confesses the Truth

7:11 ...what earnestness...

Deception caused the Sin.  Repentance confronts the deception.  It confronts deceptions like these. 

 "Just once I can handle this."  Or

"I can ask for forgiveness later." Or

"This is what makes me happy." Or

"This is just the way I am."  "I have to do this."  "I can't help it." or

"It's not wrong.  Everyone does it." or

"How can this be wrong if it feels so right?"

Confession is agreeing with the way God sees it, and the way God calls it. 

It IS WRONG.  It is SIN.  It does hurt me.  It hurts my relationship with God.  It hurts God.  It hurts others. 

I Don't Have A Problem

Bill Hybels recounts a story told by Brennan Manning in his book The Ragamuffin Gospel.

Brennan Manning quite courageously admits that 25 years ago, he had a drinking problem. He voluntarily entered a 28-day treatment program. Early on in the treatment program they had to sit in a circle with a leader and tell the truth to themselves, and to the other people in the group, about the extent of their drinking.

So they went around the circle and they all told the truth, except for one business guy named Max. When it came time for him to reveal the extent of his drinking, he said, "I never really drank that much."

They said, "Max, you're in an alcoholic treatment center for a month. You weren't sipping cokes. Tell the truth to yourself. Admit it."

He said, "I'm being honest with you. I've never really had all that much to drink."

They had signed affidavits to be able to get information. Max had signed one, too. They could glean information in any way they so desired. So they had a speaker phone in the center of the circle, and the leader of the group said, "I'm going to call the bartender close to your office and we'll just find out."

So they called the bartender and the leader says to the person on the phone, "Do you know Max So-and-So?" The guy says, "Oh, like a brother! He stops in every day after work and has a minimum of six martinis. Man, this guy drinks like a fish! He's the best customer we have--a prolific consumer of alcohol."

The rest of the people in the group all looked at Max. And now here's a moment of truth. Max tells the truth to himself. He says, "Yes, I've had a lot to drink."

A little later on in the group, they asked everyone, "Have you ever hurt anybody, a friend or family member, while you were drunk?"

Some people said, yes, and they described it. Other people said, no. They tried to get at the truth, and if that was the truth, that was the truth. They get all the way around to Max, who says, "I would never, ever hurt anybody. Not when I'm sober, not when I'm drunk. I have four lovely children. I'd never hurt my wife, I'd never hurt my kids."

The leader says, "You know, Max, we don't believe you. We're going to call your wife." As soon as Max's wife starts talking on the speaker phone, Max starts breathing heavily. He knows something's coming that he has been unwilling to face.

The leader says, "Mrs. So-and-So, has Max ever mistreated you or anyone in the family when he was drunk?" And she said, "Well, yes he has. It happened just this last Christmas Eve. He took our 9-year-old daughter shopping on Christmas Eve, bought her a new pair of shoes; he's a generous man. On the way home, our little girl was sitting in the front seat enjoying her new shoes, and Max passed the bar and saw the cars of some of his buddies.

"He pulled in. It was a cold, wintry day, 12 degrees, with a high wind chill. He made sure all the windows were rolled up snugly. He left the car running so that the heater was blowing, and he said to our 9-year-old daughter, 'I'll be right back. You just play with your shoes; I'll be right back.'

"He went in the bar and started drinking with his buddies. He didn't come out of the bar until midnight. In that time, the vehicle had shut off and the windows had become all frosted over and locked up tight so she couldn't get herself out of the car. When the authorities opened up the car and rushed her to the hospital, she was so badly frostbitten that her thumb and forefinger had to be amputated. And her ears were so damaged by the cold that she'll be deaf for the rest of her life."

The wife describes this to the group, and Max falls off his chair and starts convulsing on the ground. He just couldn't bear telling himself the truth about what he had done. He couldn't face it. He was going to live the rest of his life in some fantasy world of denial about what he had done.

I'll tell you why I bring this up. If I had the time, I could pass a microphone down the aisle and I could say, "What is that one sin that you feel so desperately bad about that you can't even bring yourself to acknowledge that you actually did it? The one that you can't bring out of the darkness into the light to let God forgive it?" What is that one sin that keeps you under a cloud of guilt day in and day out?

Bill Hybels, "Telling Yourself the Truth" (4-14-02); submitted by Gino Grunberg, Gig Harbor, Washington

3.       Repentance Has Visible Results  

The Bible calls the visible results, "the fruit of repentance" (Luke 3:8).  The visible fruit includes things like

1.       Admitting the truth instead of rationalizing.  Admitting to yourself, and to others.

2.       Good Grief.  Genuine sorrow, a broken and contrite heart before God and others.

3.       Humble Confession.  Rather than hiding the smoldering disobedience, there is open confession, with a desire to get it snuffed out.  James 5:16 says, "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed"

4.       Welcoming Accountability.  Since you want this thing snuffed out, you welcome accountability.  You set up weekly appointments with someone.  Accountability is voluntary.  That's the only way it really works.

5.        Repentance Makes Restitution.  Making amends for hurting someone.  We don't just deal with God alone on a matter where we've hurt someone else.  If you have stolen something, return it.  If you have hurt someone with words, go ask them for forgiveness.  This is not easy to do.  It requires humbling yourself. 

All of this Repentance begins with "Good Grief!"

B.      It's A Difficult Process

Cheap grace offers forgiveness without requiring repentance. 

Nobody confesses to a Pastor, "I feel overwhelmed with guilt because I cheated on my income tax." Do you know why?  Because if they really felt remorse, all they have to do is make restitution. 

What do you do when there is nobody with whom to make things right?

• Abortion
• unbiblical divorce
• angry outburst
• alcoholic binge
• private pornography, or some other form of sexual immorality

The accuser, stomps all over us with these things.  Repentance is no easy matter.

• Don't be doing any of these with the false idea that you will easily repent later.  It isn't so easy.
• There is one thing that makes it even MORE difficult, and that is delay. 
• The longer you delay, the more difficult it will become. 
• The bible does not tell us at which point someone crosses the line and it becomes too late for repentance, ...  but there is a point, where God "leaves us alone in our sin" 

Hebrews 3:7-11 (NIV) ⁷ So, as the Holy Spirit says: "Today, if you hear his voice, ⁸ do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the desert, ⁹ where your fathers tested and tried me and for forty years saw what I did. ¹⁰ That is why I was angry with that generation, and I said, 'Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.' ¹¹ So I declared on oath in my anger, 'They shall never enter my rest.'"

III.       Repentance Is A Gift Made Possible By Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:21; 2 Timothy 2:25-26)

The good news is that you are hearing God's voice today.  And repentance is a gift that is available today.  That's right.  A gift.  It's not something you can muster up all by yourself.  And that has been your problem.  You've been waiting for a time when your good intentions will be met with enough will power to pull the thing off.  That's not how it works. 

2 Timothy 2:25-26 (NIV) Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, ²⁶ and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Jesus Didn't Just Die For Us, He Also Repented For Us

2 Corinthians 5:21 (NIV) God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

We understand the central truth that at the cross an exchange took place.  But do you realize Jesus didn't just die for us, he also repented for us.  His ministry also began with an exchange.  At his baptism there was a crowd drawn to John the Baptist.  Imagine each of them confessing.  Imagine receiving a name tag with the name of their sin, now identified, being washed away.  But here comes Jesus to be baptized.  For what?  That was John's question.  John recognized the incongruity.  Jesus was sinless.  So why does he insist that he be baptized?  His answer is, Matthew 3:15 (NIV) "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness." Then John consented.

In effect, Jesus takes all our name tags.  He identifies with us.  He takes them off of our chests and puts them on for himself.  He identifies with Bob--The embezzler, Mary, the Slanderer/Gossip, Joe--The Fornicator, Sally--The adulterer, Ted--The Molester.  He put on your name tag, and mine.  He repents for us.  He is buried in the waters of baptism.  His ministry of taking our sins--he who knew no sin became sin--begins.  

Repentance is a gift. 

It's a gift.  But it requires cooperation.

You receive it by wanting it, and asking for it, and cooperating with God for it. 

7:1 Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

You Say,   "Tell me how."

Okay, here are some hints. 

• Go before God seriously. 
• Use the disciplines ...  Fast.  Pray. 
• Turn off your mind numbing noise, or distraction, whatever it is--the TV, internet, mp3 player, cell phone--or whatever, .
• Bury yourself in the God's Word and say, "God, this week, I'm setting myself apart unto you, because I want the gift of genuine repentance. God, I want to see my sin as you see it. Search me, O God, and know my heart."  Grant me repentance." 

If you seek him with all of your heart and ask him to give to you a genuine heart of repentance, he will. 

(C) Jim Hammond

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